Ugandan Museum of Evil.

Adolf Hitler.

It is always difficult resisting the urge to quote Pliny the Elder's famous saying that there is always something new out of Africa and once again the ancient wise comes to mind with the decision of the Ugandan government to build a museum to the late, execrable dictator, Idi Amin Dada. According to statements credited to Stephen Asiimwe, Chief Executive of Ugandan Tourism Board, the move is to 'set the records straight'. As if what we know about this monster's nine years reign of terror is not clear and well-documented enough. What records do you still need to clarity for descendants and relatives of the over 400,000 people murdered during his evil regime? Or thousands of Asians who were driven out of the country after their businesses were confiscated? Plunging the once-buoyant economy into instant crisis. Or innocent Israeli air passengers hijacked by Arab terrorists and diverted to Kampala? This sparked Operation Thunderbolt, one of the most audacious and spectacular air assaults in history, a rescue in which Col Yoni Nentayahu, brother of the current Israeli prime minister, was killed during the raid on Entebbe Airport, Kampala. This grim buffoon made himself King of Scotland, Conqueror of the British Empire, among his many comical excesses and deservedly met his Waterloo in an infantile and immature attempt to annex the Kagera region of Tanzania. The well-motivated troops of Julius Nyerere counter-attacked instantly and in record time, captured Kampala. The beast fled to Libya, after writing one of the bloodiest, darkest chapters in world history. The same tourism boss, who could be easily accused of having a reckless way with cliches, without sounding offensive, likens Ugandan history to wine. The older it gets the better, especially with some flavors added. He should just try tipping some hemlock into the cask.
 Stephen Asiimwe and the Ugandan authorities can only succeed in establishing a museum for the sadist, the voyeur, with their plans and it is all parallel with creating a museum for Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot and other infamous denizens of history. What are we going to see there? Images of Idi Amin snarling at the governor of the Ugandan Central Bank to simply go and print money after the hapless fellow had told him the government was broke? We might be compelled to treat the whole plan as a joke if not for the curious knowledge that Idi Amin is still considered a Field Marshall in Uganda. The guy is effectively a lieutenant in the British Army and if they still accord him that regard in his country, then we cannot scream loud enough in this outrage. And to compound mischief, they are also planning to dedicate a section to the notorious Lord Resistance Army. Sadists, kidnappers, butchers and child soldiers recruiters. Uganda is very resourceful in manufacturing monsters but, sorry, few of us, very few, are interested in their showcasing.

Idi Amin Dada.

President Pierre "Messi" Nkurunziza.

'There is always something new out of Africa'- Pliny the Elder.
But first let's start with an invention in a place far away from this mostly blighted continent. President Trump in far away America forms a football team. American football or gridiron football so to say and names it The White House Patriots. He spends most of his team moving around with this team and engaging all forms of opposition in football matches, a traveling choir providing the entertainment because the president claims to be an evangelical christian. So no Justin Timberlake or Janet Jackson and all that wardrobe malfunction nonsense, just thumping gospel music in heavy metal mode while the president and his team carry out another sort of thumping on the opposition: always scoring at will, always winning silly, with unbelievable margins. Because the president is not expected to be tackled, or roughened or impeded. If there is going to be any engagement, it would have to be the softest of all touches. In essence it is not supposed to be a contact sport anytime the president is holding the ball. So he makes all the throws, all the catches, all the running, all the touchdowns. He is the quarterback, the halfback, the fullback, the wide receiver rolled into one. And naturally he is the superstar and takes all the plaudits. And why not? He is the president of the United States of America.
That is until he travels to Texas and plays a team made up mostly of refugees being held in camps along the Mexican border. Latinos and blacks, guys being held in concentration camps. Fellows who were not in the happy mode at all. Guys who would like to kick some presidential ass. And which they gleefully did, roughening up the president, sending him tumbling into the dirt several times and getting his jersey torn. Respect my foot!
Naturally, the president is not happy about it, not happy at all and he gets the governor of Texas and his deputy arrested and corralled into a little fetid jail. Crime? Conspiracy against the president of course. You can't arrange a little roughening up of the president in the evening and expect to eat breakfast in your own house the following morning.
A very short, dystopian  story? Sure.
But if you change the settings to Africa, precisely to a nasty corner of it called Burundi, and gridiron football becomes soccer and Trump transforms to President Pierre Nkurunziza and the Texas team is replaced by a group of hungry refugees from Congo, you have the latest comedy from Africa. Nkuruziza runs a football outfit called Haleluya FC and as a self-acclaimed evangelical christian, travels with his own choir called' Komeza gusenga which in the local Kirundi language, means 'pray non-stop.'
A real, real comedy. Dystopian to the ends of nightmare. And not funny at all because the governor of Kiremba region of Burundi where the president was made to 'fall several times and kiss the dust' and his deputy are now in even a dirtier jail for conspiring against and humiliating the president. It is not everyday that Messi has his way. Even Messi of Africa.
What is fiction anywhere else in the world can turn into a nasty, grinding reality in Africa.
Yes, there is always something new out of Africa. And most of it is not always pleasant.